As the phone rings

As the phone rang today, and Ken answered it, he got some complex information. It was Dr. Jane's office calling to let us know that Dr. Jane reviewed Abby's MRI over the weekend and that he indeed, did not see any fluid in the T or C spine. This is good news. The complexity comes in the following news. If the urodyanamics test comes back abnormal, we will indeed do surgery. If Abby's urodynamics test were to come back as normal, Dr. Jane wants to let her go for the next year. While I obviously don't wish surgery upon my baby girl, I'm terrified at the thought of a year between now and her next MRI. So much can happen in a year--just look at all she's learned in a year. I don't want to wait so long that we can't fix whatever may possibly go wrong. Ugh! I just don't know what to feel right now. Abby's last test is a week away and I'm dreading it for so many reasons. First of all, it is invasive. Secondly, it is going to be a long day--about five hours worth of appointments. Not to mention that it brings all of the testing to an end and I'm not going to be happy with either result.

Let's face it--surgery is inevitable with this condition. Abby's specific type of tethered cord is is called a lipoma or lipomyelomeningocele. Basically if you were to look at her back, you can see a mass of fat in her lower back above her sacral dimple. I never noticed this until we started researching what may be going on. Now I notice it more and more. I do not know if this is because I am looking for it, or if it because it is truly growing. Another thing that I would like to discuss with Dr. Jane is how she sometimes drag her toes when she walks.

So basically we are just waiting. Waiting for the phone to ring. Again. Next time when the phone rings and it is Dr. Jane's office on the other line, we will have a yes or no answer. Neither answer is the one I want.